Wow, I haven't written anything in almost a year and a half. I wonder why... Was I so busy that I could not write? Was there nothing to write about? Was I lazy to open the blogger and write something meaningful? - Most probably. (edit: i think that i am gradually shutting my counscious down and am not able to think about stuff happening around me)

well, let's continue where I left it the last time...

 ...It was the start of 2022, and I wanted to achieve these things to be happy about it:

Tento rok budem povazovat za vydareny ak:

• Stretnem Yuri (I will meet Yuri)
• Najdem si novu pracu, s ktorou budem spokojny, bez kompromisov.(Ill find a new job)
• Najdem si holku s ktorou to budem mysliet aspon trochu vaznejsie. (I will find a girl)

Well:

I met with Yuri and it was nice. Travelled with my brother to NY to see her. The first time we met was in front of a restaurant somewhere in NY. it was so surreal to see her. It isal. I think about her almost always in some way.. and then I see her live. Look in at her in person. Beautiful, with a charming smile. she is so pretty. She always was. 

Yesterday I watched the movie Past Lives. I just saw it promoted on a streaming service with a good rating. I saw a nice Korean actress and decided to watch it because of this. It was a nice drama. I could not stop thinking about Yuri. The actress reminded me of her. The movie was about life choices and fate. Yeah, that's how I understood it. 

I loved this scene:

the guy met the girl 24 years after they forced parting. Because she moved from Korea to NY. She has already had a husband for many years. She likes this guy but yeah, it was not destined to happen, and she is really trying to move on. He is still desperately in love with her.  There is this saying in Korea that people meet in their past lives, and if they meet or touch their garments somehow, for 8,000 times, in the next life they will be together. So he asks her what she will do in the future life. I was waiting to hear from her "lovers". No, it never came, she replied "I don't know". Bet she knew. and she just didn't tell him. He is leaving without a proper closure. And he is still in love with her. That's for sure. She is walking back home, a bit angry at herself that she could not tell him something better than "I don't know". Yeah, and she cries a lot. She cries that she could have been with this guy to whom she bears a big love. And maybe she could not tell him I love you. She has a life and a husband.

So I feel that this is a bit similar to me and Yuri.

I did not lose her at the age of twelve. It's not like that. But yes, she has a husband and a proper working life with everything together. And they actually met already when they were 10. Oh my. this is proper love, Yuri and Andrew.  Yeah, I have to admit. I never lost her because I never truly had her. I love her, for who she is. But there is also a great deal of things I know nothing about.

I hope somewhere in the future or right now in Multiverse, I will be living in New York with Yuri. Being happy and successful. Starting a family... that would be so nice...

Well back to meeting her in New York in October 2022. 

We met in front of the restaurant then we got in had iced food and talked. She looks really nice. 

Next time we met in Brooklyn to have a walk and a coffee. I enjoyed it but it was not as loving as in Barcelona.

It felt as if something had gone. It was still amazing to see her and catch up. She is truly remarkable. I would love to see her again. God know when.

Maybe in a year or two. Let's see if it will last. Is it almost five years now?

I am still searching for a job and yeah, it's frustrating sometimes. Especially when I was whining n to Yuri about how I didn't like the job and trying to find a new one.  Pfu. I feel like I'm losing my career in a way. And yeah in front of Yuri, I want to be someone who also is happy/ progressing in his job. Yeah, I am not, but I am a nice, loving guy, kinda of fit, doing interesting stuff.

Okay, it's when it is .. Maybe I am delusional about the whole relationship with her. 

But I kinda moved on. I just need to find someone like her. funny to say but yes, that's what it is. Someone with such qualities.

Well, and that's it.

I left Keyence on June 4th. The best decision I made in a long time. It was very frustrating and after new accusations and shit, it was unbearable. I remember standing at Mathias's terrace again crying about the work, and then I told myself, okay that's enough. Tomorrow I will resign. And I resigned the next day. I think it was Friday. It was truly liberating.

Since then I have had to:

• Bratislava
• Hungary and hikes in Romania.
• Prague
• Cycling in Italy
• Cycling in France
• Diving in Egypt
• I also finished a certificate
• and started with a new one.
• I also try to work out more.

So it is still productive.

Yeah, and I am having some interviews here and there.

Let's see. I am not afraid too much of not finding the right job but yeah. At times it grows on me. But I am still positive. And it's gonna come.

this is it for now. I hope I will write more. There is a lot to write about.